Since I was little more than a kid, I have walked on my own in the dark. I love it. I used to walk or cycle from the yard where I kept my horse, from my friend's house, or from the village. I was never once nervous or apprehensive: on a dark night, on miles of empty country road, I always reckoned I could nip into the barley field before that creepy guy in the white van had even started slowing down.
It must be said, however, there is a difference between in peaceful moonlight countryside,and nighttime city. One of my university classes finishes at 5pm on a Monday: I'll be getting the bus home at 6. It's is roughly 1.5 miles, just under half an hour's walk, from the campus to the bus station.
In winter, it's going to be very dark. This gave me pause for thought. For the first time ever, I wondered if I'd be vulnerable. Probably not, because the south of the city is buzzing: but still. What do you do if you're turning into a quiet street and you hear those oh-so-stereotypical footsteps?
It has always suprised me when people- especialy women- persist in the belief that women can be somehow responsible for their own sexual assault. It seems totally illogical. Of course they aren't: that's why it's rape. It was unwanted.
"But their clothes were revealing"
And who sets the standard? Some of the skirts I wear are conservative by the standards of my peers, but positively wanton in the eyes of, say, a member of the FLDS. What's the rape protective length? two inches above the knee? Calf length?
Ridiculous isn't it? How many times has the "She should have protected herself by not dressing like that/not getting drunk/not walking that road" line been trotted out? On closer inspection, it's daft. Unless you are a complete droog from the swamp, you should have worked out that rape is about power and control. No decent man sits there on a Saturday night out going "Oh no! That brunette over there is wearing a cut-away pussy pelmet from NV! I must rape her! Help, it's uncontrollable!"
Otherwise how come more men aren't rapists?
Anyway, I know a bit about self defence, and I'll get me some pepper spray. And I'll continue to wear whatever the hell I want, and walk wherever the hell I want.
I'd like to finish off with something I found drifting around the internet, which really does the job better.
"A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. ****, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.
Instead of that BS, how about:If a woman is drunk, don't rape her. If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her. If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her. If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her. If a woman is jogging in a park at 5AM, don't rape her. If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her. If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her. If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her. If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her. If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her. If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her. If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her. If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend. If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police. If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and report him as a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends that it's not okay to rape someone.Don't just tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x, y, or z. Don't imply that it's in any way her fault. Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can too help yourself.
Rape is not about sex, it's about control and power, and what kind of power comes from taking advantage of others? No power anyone should ever desire. "
5 comments:
Check pepper spray is legal hun.. if not, hairspray makes a good substitute. And a panic alarm is a very good idea too; when I was Uni the Student Union shop sold them. (LOL tho that was a very long time ago now ;-) )
And yes, I agree so much, let's stop blaming women for a minority of men.. and also assuming all men are unable to control themselves, debases both sexes.
((((Hugs))))
@ Joxy - Helen was given a student survival pack when she started uni earlier in the year - full of info on alcohol limits, STI's, safe sex and condoms!
And yes - the blame culture - always the first thought, where was she?What was she doing? How was she behaving? What was she wearing? Surely the first question should be at the guy - why did you think you had the right?
You keep safe hun.
And enjoy Uni.
xx
It's illegal, but there are ways...of obtaining it... =D
Thank you, I am enjoying it a bit more now- was too freaked out at first though
Your set of keys poking through your fingers would give a sharp shock too, I would imagine ;)
Certainly gives more courage to me when walking in places I don't feel safe at dark!
But that aside, have a great time at Uni.
Brought tears to my eyes just because it should be this way and often its not, the best way of protecting yourself is to be confident, walk with your head up high and step out strongly, like you always walk there. You don't need anything to protect yourself just a positive attitude and confidence!
Post a Comment